A Lesson: How to Make Me Tea





This post has been inspired by a Youtube video by the fantastic Dodie Clark, that you can watch here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=A2On47DLEpE

Hello, friends. My name is Felicia Heise, and I. Love. Tea. I love tea so very, very much. However, this also means I'm very...well, let's say passionate about it. In order to be a complete experience, my tea must be made very specifically. So just in case you ever have the opportunity to make me a cuppa, here is everything you need to know! (And more!)


The very first thing to know is that there are three basic "Felicia Teas" with three basic functions.

1. The English Breakfast Tea
2. The Peppermint Tea
3. The Flavored Green Tea


To start off, I'll give you the low-down on the first kind. The English Breakfast Tea can be done one of two ways: there's the ritualistic way of making it, and the "Dear Lord, please just give me tea." way of making it. 
The first way is very important, detail-oriented, and not for the weak of heart. It has been passed down from my family, and is the proper way to make tea. (For me, at least.) I drink The English Breakfast Tea when I want TEA. Not herb tea, not earl grey tea, not chai tea, TEA. I suppose you could say this is my coffee equivalent. This is what renews my soul and reminds me that everything is OK. 


  1. To start off, you boil the appropriate amount of water. Any ol' tea kettle will do, but make sure to bring it to a complete boil! 
  2. While the water is coming to a boil, get a teapot. (If you don't know the difference between a tea kettle and a teapot, please educate yourself.) Fill your teapot most of the way with water, and put it in the microwave for about two minutes, though the exact length of time depends on how big your teapot is. When it's done in the microwave and is warm to the touch, pour the water back out. The teapot has now been preheated, and it will not cool down the boiling water you're about to pour into it. *Note: If a microwave is not available, boil extra water in the tea kettle to pour into the teapot before you put the tea in it. Then proceed as normal to pour it back out. 
  3. Take a spoon and put one spoonful of loose leaf tea in the teapot for every cup of tea you're making, plus one extra "for the teapot." This allows for tea of the proper strength.
  4. Pour the boiling water from the tea kettle into the teapot and close the lid. Steep the tea for 3 minutes. (4 will also suffice. Better too strong than too weak!)
  5. While the tea is steeping, get your mugs and pour two little "glugs" of milk in each. A glug is probably a tablespoon, but there's no need to be that exact. Put the mugs with the milk in the microwave for 45 seconds to preheat them. 
  6. After your tea has steeped and your milk and mugs have been preheated, take a tea strainer and pour the tea from the teapot over it and into your mugs. 
Congratulations! You have officially made a proper cup of tea. 
The "variation" so to speak is how I imagine normal people make tea:

  1. Boil the water.
  2. Put the tea bag in your mug.
  3. Pour the boiling water over the teabag.
  4. Add two glugs of milk. (Or you know. Two tablespoons.)
  5. Leave tea bag in for desired amount of time.

The next kind of tea is the Peppermint Tea. I drink this when I need to feel calm and at peace. I often drink it right before bed or when I'm feeling particularly stressed. It's much less involved then The English Breakfast Tea, but when I'm making it for myself, I do it very specifically:

  1.  Bring the water to a boil. You'll need a lot, because I like an absolute bucket of peppermint tea.
  2. Get two peppermint tea bags. Yes, I said two. I like my peppermint tea so strong it could it could give Thor a run for his money. 
  3. Once the water has boiled, pour it over the tea bags. 
  4. Once it's steeped a few minutes, add some cold water or an ice cube or two. It's a lot of tea, and I want to be able to drink it in the next century. 
  5. LEAVE. THE. TEABAG. IN. PLEASE. NEVER TAKE IT OUT.
Yay! You've successfully made tea type two.


The third and final kind is the Flavored Green Tea. Plain green tea is not preferred, and putting sugar in tea is sacrilegious, so flavored green tea (usually of the berry, mint, or hibiscus variety) is the key. I drink this when I'm feeling thirsty, or want to feel refreshed. It's a nice peppy pick-me-up, and it's the easiest of the three tea types to make:

  1. Boil the water.
  2. Put the tea bag in the preferably very large mug. (But not quite as large as the peppermint tea mug.)
  3. Pour the boiling water over the teabag.
  4. LEAVE THE TEA BAG IN, THANK YOU.
  5. And you don't have to bother offering me sugar. Though obviously, if you do so, I will politely (but firmly!) decline.

Well, there you go, friends. Now you are fully prepared if you ever have to make me tea. And I promise you, while I probably come off as a huge snob, please know that any tea will do in a pinch. I never, ever turn down a cup of tea.*

Does anyone else have very strong feelings about tea? (Or anything else that might seem trivial to mere mortals?) Please enlighten me.

In Christ,

Felicia



*Unless it has sugar in it. I just can't bring myself to put sugar in tea. 

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